this is not a given up, this is a sign to be peace with our own self

last nite is the 3rd nite I far away from dad,

let's say, my escape... ouch.. it's sound that I'm a little rebel girl...

then, surprise me..

dad came and talk to me...

of course with his egoistic as a dad, as usual dad in the world, hehehe

but, *underline this* I do love him..

you know what I mean with 'egoistic dad' character?

it's a kind like someone older ( re : parents ) who actually need us, but they use a discredit way to pretend that they didn't need us - oh, I hope you can understand what I mean to , it's a complicated to describe, hehehe -

he told me to choose, back to home or stay in grandma's house

as a brilliant human who use brain more than heart waw... finally I choose to back to home (of course ), why :

1. My financial is getting worse since I runaway from home, wkwkw.. come on, we all need money, rite?
2. If I still stay in grandma's, it means I couldn't work like before, because as a escaper ( re : someone who escape from ), I have to stay in grandma's all the time, beside go to college of course
3. Even dad discredit me in so many times, I feel so guilty leave him with all the things that he must do by him self
4. I am the oldest kid in my family, I've to be responsible, I've to be a leader to my sister and brother, and  a good leader must be brave to face any problem ouch... 
5. I miss dad and I love him (how many times I said this? oh forget it...)

But I ask to stay one more nite in grandma's

and today, this noon, I'll going home...

back to the daily sucks activity (but, hey... I miss it, damn!)

back to the no more holiday even sunday

and of course...

back to work which is means, hey... money... I'm back... lol

ya... I'll going home

to the place I belong to

to the place, no matter how sucks it is, but there I am to be

to the place that I miss all the time...

ya... I'll going home

I'll going back to you, dad..

letter to dad

dear my beloved dad 

-  the best ever dad in the world -

Maybe I couldn't remember the first time you saw me

Maybe I couldn't remember the first thing that you did to me

Ya.. I even couldn't remember the first word that I said to you

And I sure, we have the same problem, right dad?'

What I know from my childhood

It was so much fun in that time

They, the people around us, said you were really gave a lot of things to me

even actually I didn't need it

You gave me a doll when I even didn't know what is that

You gave me a toy when I even didn't know how to use it

You gave me a little cute dress when what I did just play with the mud

Dad, You're my role mode

Dad, You're my most inspiring person in my whole life

Dad, You're the only man who can take the King position in my little kingdom
Dad, You're the one who always be my hero
Dad... I DO LOVE YOU...

Now, your big hand didn't hold my my little finger anymore

Now, I'm not a little baby who always walk beside you

Now, I'm not a cute daughter who always do what you ask

But, no matter my condition now... I DO LOVE YOU, DAD...

Today, I write this letter

not to tell you how much I love you

or not to find out how much you love me

because I know, we love each other...

Today, I write this letter

to convince you that

I'm still your little princess

even not the submissive one...

I'm still your daughter

who need you to show me the truth when I got the false one

I'm still the one who love you

even sometimes your anger made me feel so sad

Dad, in this month

God gave us a task

a big task to do

between you and I

a big task to solved out

a big task that test our togetherness

maybe this is the time we need to separate for a while

maybe this is the time we need to give a rest to ourselves

maybe this is the time need to be alone, stand in our own side

maybe this is the time we need to do something by ourselves, 

you do yours and so do I

This is the letter that I never send to you

because I know, sooner our big task from God will done,

and I'm sure, before you read this letter,

we already in a higher grade

to pass another bigger task

Dad, One thing that you should remember

I DO LOVE YOU, DAD..

From the one who always love you,

Your Little Princess

P.S. : I never angry to you, dad

dancing even you're not the one who invited

don't you know how life's work?

don't you know how meaningful life it is?

don't you know that life is more than just black and white?

don't you know there are a million colors from life that you can paint?

don't you know that? because I'm not...

what I know about life is just

something sucks

something bored

something happen for once

something silly

something stupid 

but you have no choice

like or not

that is life

the only part you can chose is

face it or pass it

Until one day,

I know

I realize

there is not only in a real school

we can get a valuable knowledge,
but here,

in a real life

we can learn, directly from the best ever teacher in the world, that is life

like the quotes from anonymous 

Life may not be the party we hoped for,

but while we're here, we should dance..

yeah... let's dance

even you are not the one who invited

this is a life

you have a right to do anything

you have a right to dance any step that you like

life is a free party ever

don't be care to who invited who

just get in

enjoy the party

and move your body to dance

today, I'm still learning

in a life's school

I've to pass an exam

where they put me into a case that I've to solved out

yeah... I'm in an exam now

even I don't know when exactly it'll end up

what I know is just to do my best

even sometimes I feel sucks

even sometimes I feel bored

even sometimes I feel wanna give up

then I try to remind my self

I'm too far to give up

there is still a long road to walk 

there are still a lot of place to visit

there are still a bunch have fun things to do

ya... I'm still doing my exam

it's hard, I know

it's fuck, sometimes

but hey... it's life

something special is always waiting for us after we pass the exam

yaa.. it's life

something unpredictable is always fill in the day

yaa.. this is a life

and it's not just about black and white

it should be colorfull

the 1st step

time is moving...

second by second...

minute to hours...

day by day...

month to years...

yeah... we all not the same anymore like yesterday...

did we remember the best moment in our past?

did we remember the saddest moment in our life before?

we all moving on...

no matter how worst the past

no matter the curiosity in the future

no matter how

we all moving on

like when we were child,

we were born as a holy creature

we didn't know what we'll get in the future

but we still moving on

we're moving on from our 1st step,

since we know how to stand by our own feet

since we know how to walk on the road

since we know how to run 

since we know how to dance

we all moving on

no matter how, no matter why

we all moving on