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Thursday, November 25, 2010

this is not a given up, this is a sign to be peace with our own self

last nite is the 3rd nite I far away from dad,
let's say, my escape... ouch.. it's sound that I'm a little rebel girl...

then, surprise me..
dad came and talk to me...
of course with his egoistic as a dad, as usual dad in the world, hehehe
but, *underline this* I do love him..
you know what I mean with 'egoistic dad' character?
it's a kind like someone older ( re : parents ) who actually need us, but they use a discredit way to pretend that they didn't need us - oh, I hope you can understand what I mean to , it's a complicated to describe, hehehe -


he told me to choose, back to home or stay in grandma's house
as a brilliant human who use brain more than heart waw... finally I choose to back to home (of course ), why :
  1. My financial is getting worse since I runaway from home, wkwkw.. come on, we all need money, rite?
  2. If I still stay in grandma's, it means I couldn't work like before, because as a escaper ( re : someone who escape from ), I have to stay in grandma's all the time, beside go to college of course
  3. Even dad discredit me in so many times, I feel so guilty leave him with all the things that he must do by him self
  4. I am the oldest kid in my family, I've to be responsible, I've to be a leader to my sister and brother, and  a good leader must be brave to face any problem ouch... 
  5. I miss dad and I love him (how many times I said this? oh forget it...)


But I ask to stay one more nite in grandma's
and today, this noon, I'll going home...
back to the daily sucks activity (but, hey... I miss it, damn!)
back to the no more holiday even sunday
and of course...
back to work which is means, hey... money... I'm back... lol

ya... I'll going home
to the place I belong to
to the place, no matter how sucks it is, but there I am to be
to the place that I miss all the time...

ya... I'll going home
I'll going back to you, dad..

letter to dad





dear my beloved dad 
-  the best ever dad in the world -





Maybe I couldn't remember the first time you saw me
Maybe I couldn't remember the first thing that you did to me
Ya.. I even couldn't remember the first word that I said to you
And I sure, we have the same problem, right dad?'


What I know from my childhood
It was so much fun in that time
They, the people around us, said you were really gave a lot of things to me
even actually I didn't need it













You gave me a doll when I even didn't know what is that
You gave me a toy when I even didn't know how to use it
You gave me a little cute dress when what I did just play with the mud


Dad, You're my role mode
Dad, You're my most inspiring person in my whole life
Dad, You're the only man who can take the King position in my little kingdom
Dad, You're the one who always be my hero
Dad... I DO LOVE YOU...












Now, your big hand didn't hold my my little finger anymore
Now, I'm not a little baby who always walk beside you
Now, I'm not a cute daughter who always do what you ask
But, no matter my condition now... I DO LOVE YOU, DAD...




Today, I write this letter
not to tell you how much I love you
or not to find out how much you love me
because I know, we love each other...
Today, I write this letter
to convince you that
I'm still your little princess
even not the submissive one...
I'm still your daughter
who need you to show me the truth when I got the false one
I'm still the one who love you
even sometimes your anger made me feel so sad











Dad, in this month
God gave us a task
a big task to do
between you and I
a big task to solved out
a big task that test our togetherness
maybe this is the time we need to separate for a while
maybe this is the time we need to give a rest to ourselves
maybe this is the time need to be alone, stand in our own side
maybe this is the time we need to do something by ourselves, 
you do yours and so do I
















This is the letter that I never send to you
because I know, sooner our big task from God will done,
and I'm sure, before you read this letter,
we already in a higher grade
to pass another bigger task

Dad, One thing that you should remember
I DO LOVE YOU, DAD..


From the one who always love you,

Your Little Princess

P.S. : I never angry to you, dad

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

dancing even you're not the one who invited


don't you know how life's work?
don't you know how meaningful life it is?
don't you know that life is more than just black and white?
don't you know there are a million colors from life that you can paint?
don't you know that? because I'm not...

what I know about life is just
something sucks
something bored
something happen for once
something silly
something stupid 
but you have no choice
like or not
that is life
the only part you can chose is
face it or pass it

Until one day,
I know
I realize
there is not only in a real school
we can get a valuable knowledge,
but here,
in a real life
we can learn, directly from the best ever teacher in the world, that is life

like the quotes from anonymous 
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we're here, we should dance..


yeah... let's dance
even you are not the one who invited

this is a life
you have a right to do anything
you have a right to dance any step that you like
life is a free party ever
don't be care to who invited who
just get in
enjoy the party
and move your body to dance




today, I'm still learning
in a life's school
I've to pass an exam
where they put me into a case that I've to solved out
yeah... I'm in an exam now
even I don't know when exactly it'll end up
what I know is just to do my best
even sometimes I feel sucks
even sometimes I feel bored
even sometimes I feel wanna give up
then I try to remind my self
I'm too far to give up
there is still a long road to walk 
there are still a lot of place to visit
there are still a bunch have fun things to do

ya... I'm still doing my exam
it's hard, I know
it's fuck, sometimes
but hey... it's life
something special is always waiting for us after we pass the exam
yaa.. it's life
something unpredictable is always fill in the day




yaa.. this is a life
and it's not just about black and white
it should be colorfull

the 1st step


time is moving...
second by second...
minute to hours...
day by day...
month to years...

yeah... we all not the same anymore like yesterday...
did we remember the best moment in our past?
did we remember the saddest moment in our life before?
we all moving on...
no matter how worst the past
no matter the curiosity in the future
no matter how
we all moving on





like when we were child,
we were born as a holy creature
we didn't know what we'll get in the future
but we still moving on

we're moving on from our 1st step,
since we know how to stand by our own feet
since we know how to walk on the road
since we know how to run 
since we know how to dance

we all moving on
no matter how, no matter why
we all moving on